OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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