So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
