Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
