you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
