I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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