we have pet lesbian snakes
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it because I queefed?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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