Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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