The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
