Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
