if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
