wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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