His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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