i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
