He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
