Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
