Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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