Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
