FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
