i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
