Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
