He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
