I'm so fucking centered right now
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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