i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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