that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
operation harelip BJ is a go
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize