apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
