I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
