I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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