News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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