so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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