How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
