bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
