I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
