eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
