The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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