i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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