A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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