Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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