what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
