Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize