Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
