But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
