She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
