I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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