I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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