On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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