That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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