i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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