He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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