Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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