I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we're making bets on your personal life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
