dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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