just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize