Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
