Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
