Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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