the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
