your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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