You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
