Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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