He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
