make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
