Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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