We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
