I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
