how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
