If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
