she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
